I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
