Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize