buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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