im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize