I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
