i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
