their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My balls are so social today.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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