a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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