I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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