I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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