Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
