You're my little dorito
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
