now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
