so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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