He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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