just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
