it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize