weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
