i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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