i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize