Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Randomize
