Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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