so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
