Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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