She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
