My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
