I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
