I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
