In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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