mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
