I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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