i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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