Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
