I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
