ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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