The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
