i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
