If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
