It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
