the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
