i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize