So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
