when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
