If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
