If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
