its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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