Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
