ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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