i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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