Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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