No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
