so let's talk penis.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
