Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
what day is it and did you see me today?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
