I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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