Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
