she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize