he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I lost the right to judge tonight
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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