I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
