just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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