i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
