i would punch a child for taco bell
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize