I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
