so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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