Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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