marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
