I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
