Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
