The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
